tears are falling

As I sit on a high loft bed in the upstairs bedroom at my brother's Robb and wife Linda house, tears start again.

These are emotional triggers. 

My last postings were  of blessings and prayers, deep ones. 

I lived with an alcoholic brother and found him one morning.. dead.

I love you ken. 

... ... ... 

skin allergy

Yep. Had a topical allergy to limonene and linalool. Getting better though, not as pronounced from the weekend. 

brain activity

Brain activity under anesthesia challenges what we know about consciousness | ScienceDaily https://share.google/jXcdRTowif1bFFLV7

Pocketful of pennies

 For every penny, there's a thought or story. The 2 sides of life, the yin and yang of directional influences. Today I don't know where I am. Feels like an in between. Very little energy. Depression tired is a thing.. do people even know that?

Bodies react differently to stress. 

Hard.

Tired of rationalizing.. just want to be... 

Hard fighting the minds anxiety. 

Worry for nothing. Put it all in God's hands... yes, all of it. 

《《《《《》》》》》

Dear mom, miss your hugs.

Dear dad, miss our movies talks.

Dear God..

Please be Dear and continue to watch over us.

Amen

A big false heart?

 Okay. I have been doing Bible studies for awhile now with the bestie. 

Recently learned about how the heart deceives us. This struck a cord in me, being a Leo. 

This is a rough time and I am sorry for selfish behaviors. God sees through and his help is being asked for again... 

Faith, patience, trust, control, reality... 

No wonder my mdd flairs up but at the same time,  my fears are like a mack truck right now.. so dear God, and with this open letter from my spirit.. guide me through this chaos, massive anxiety and stress. 

In your holiest of names,  God, my father above.. look over me and especially my brother Ken. Please... a roof over my head, food to eat, ease the heavy heart with your light, love, kindness, patience and safety.  

Amen.